Thursday, September 30, 2010

9.30.10.....what we do

It's nostalgia time, kiddos.
With the Shit Happens! tour a month away, we're looking forward to our favorite time of year to go on the road. How can you not love fall? Sweatshirt weather, the smell of nature slowly dying, and the gift of not waking up in a pool of sweat while we sleep in the van.

Most of our fall tours have ended up going into the first leg of winter, which will happen again this year (more info coming soon?....hmmm). We'll go from perfect comfort to a bit of the ol' frostbite on the delicates. Regardless of the weather, after a long and justified break in 2010 where we still had time to play some great fests, release a new EP and record a fucking mammoth of an album, we are beyond excited to head out for an extended period of time. It's a great lead up to 2011, where we will be cramming as many shows as possible into 365 days.

So, here's some lists of TT's road ingredients:

Top 11 unanimous album/artists that we all (surprisingly) agree on and are played (almost too) frequently:

Metalucifer - Heavy Metal Bulldozer
Ceremony - Still Nothing Moves You / Rohnert Park
Patton Oswalt - Werewolves and Lollipops
Rotten Sound - Cycles
Disfear - Live the Storm
World Burns to Death - Totalitarian Sodomy
Fucked Up - Hidden World / Chemistry...
Judas Priest - Greatest Hits
Longmont Potion Castle - all (over, and over, and over...)
The Bronx - 2nd s/t album
Young Widows - Old Wounds

Top 7 Overnight driving records when the post show ban on distortion is in place (these are not necessarily unanimous because the driver runs the radio:

Eccentric Soul Compilations from Numero Records
Duffy - Rockferry
M83 - Before the Dawn Heals Us (Specifically, played mostly on repeat from 5am until the sun rises)
Stax 50th Anniversary Boxset
The Temptations - Best of
Dead Presidents - OST volumes 1 and 2
Mono - You are There (okay, a little distortion)

Top 6 food/beverage stops:
Panera Bread (almost now considered a morning ritual....and most mornings we wake up in the parking lot)
Whole Foods (if we don't wake up at Panera, this is the next in line)
Subway (especially the 24 hour ones at Love's Travel Stops)
Taco Bell / McDonald's / Burger King / Arby's (for when the van is in need of that magical french fries scent)
Sheetz (no explanation needed)
7/11 (slurpees....)

Top 5 unhealthy snacks consumed in mass amounts:
Snyder's Buffalo Wing Pretzel Nuggets
Fritos (plain or honey-bbq twists)
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
Twizzlers / circus peanuts / gumdrops / anything fruity and chewy

Top 5 Necessary and Unnecessary Driving break / killing time areas:
Barnes and Noble (free wi-fi)
Guitar Center (necessary)
Movie Theaters (necessary for clearing of the mind)
Every Rest Stop imaginable (we need to piss a lot)
Target / Big Lots
Sports / Athletic stores (Hammer Gel or GU)
Laundromats (most of us try to stay clean and stench free)

Bottom 5 scenarios we've found ourselves in involving our van, Big Ben:

October 2009 - Van broken down 15 miles outside of Denver en route to Iowa City (missed two shows, spent over $1,000 for a new "back end", and then had to immediately drive to Madison, WI as soon as the van was fixed)

July 2009 - Van broken down ten minutes after driving away from Gilman (missed one show, spent over $600 for...something I can't remember. Required using two AAA tows)

July 2009 - Van broken down a week after breaking down outside Gilman. Happened on a dead highway in literally the middle of nowhere, Montana. We had a great young man help us out and tow us 30 miles for free....bless him)

April 2008 - Flew home from Rotten Sound/Victims euro tour. Landed in Boston, got picked up and six hours later we drove 35 hours from New Hampshire to Denver. Played a show, got back in the van and drove 15 hours to Tucson. Played a show, got back in the van and drove 10 hours to Victorville, CA to begin a tour with Extreme Noise Terror. Showed up and the show was cancelled.

July 2009 - Upon completing the Skeletonwitch/Saviours tour in Covington, KY all members (and non members, and banes of existence...) were dropped off, and Scuba and I proceeded to drive almost 60 hours from Kentucky to Seattle. The only stop was to watch the newest Harry Potter movie and eat at the Triple Rock in Minneapolis.

Top 5 in-joke phrases that are each said at least ten times a day:

1- "Now jerk off to that, you lucky so and so!"
2- "I'm gonna swoop down on you like a kodiak bear"
3- "I need a broooooom"
4- "No, that is"
5- "Rwaaandaaaa"

Top 7 quotes made by Chris Maggio that will inevitable become part of our everyday conversation:

1- "I love iiiit! It's so fucking goooood! Kuuuuurt!"
2- "This is my fishbowl...I live here with my friend."
3- "Pizza sticks, pizza sticks, switching tempos and pizza sticks."
4- "I know....I don't know"
5- "Fuck you, get out of my window"
6- "You and the parking lot."
7- "So close....god, Brian, we're so close. I can smell the roses at the end of the road. I don't even know what that means."

Top 10 things that make us happy when showing up to a venue:
1- Monitors
2- Time for a sound check
3- Visible areas for merch
4- Being in a close proximity to civilization
5- Loaders (very, very rare, but when it happens, it's awesome)
6- Buy outs
7- Drink tickets
8- Time for a bike ride
9- Having someone at the venue already there to let us in
10- Not driving for a few hours

Top 5 times involving law enforcement:
1- Canadian Border officials (it's only entertaining because they feel the need to search the van and trailer and we know we're legit)

2- Being pulled over because someone wrote "sucks" in the dirt underneath the Red Sox bumper sticker on the trailer. Cop thought it said "cock". Then proceeded to tell us he smelled weed, to which I replied, "You smell five dirty, sweaty men living in a van....there's a difference."

3- Cop - "You have a headlight out."
Us - "We know. You're the fourth cop in an hour to tell us that."

4- Cop - "Your trailer lights aren't working."
Us - "We know. You're the fourth cop in an hour to tell us that."

5- Cop "Why do you have a trailer license plate over another one?"
Us - "We don't have a screwdriver to take the old one off."
Cop - "That's pretty stupid."
Us - "Yeah, we know. But our headlights and trailer lights are working, right?"

Top 6 tour highlights (among many....the lists goes beyond this):

1- 4 shows in 24 hours with Disfear (2 Canadian, 2 U.S.)
2- Long hangout sessions with Barney/Napalm Death
3- Toxic Tea
4- The entire tour with These Arms are Snakes and Narrows
5- Witnessing ENT play Gilman for the first time in their history as a band
6- Seeing those of you with your fists shaking in the air and your heads banging. Thank you.

Top 10 items on our wish list if you feel like being generous and bearing gifts (hey, it can't hurt...)
1- Jack Daniels
2- Diet Mountain Dew
3- Twizzlers
4- Demos
5- Hammer Gel, Gu, or Clif energy shotz....and Clif Builder Bars
6- Granola
7- Bananas
8- Reading material
9- guitar/bass picks
10- cymbal endorsements

So, there it is.....a bunch of lists.


  1. Having seen you guys in victorville with tbdm, I can tell you right now that the city missed out. Txc productions cancels shows often when they can't get enough interest in a show going. I blame it on their crappy street team promoting the fuck out of deathcore/crabcore/crunkcore/whatever shows and neglecting all the other good shows.

  2. punx wont even write one song about rwaaaaandaaaaaaa

  3. Fuck, bring these good times to New Zealand already!