Thursday, December 22, 2011

12.22.11.....Hibernational Situation

Sup cunts?

We'll catch up after the holy daze, but for right now, we just want to thank you all for being good fuckin' eggs to us this year.

Thanks to all of the amazing bands we toured with this year for letting us share the stage with you:

Rotten Sound, Gaza, The Kandidate, Haust, The Red Chord, Converge, Burning Love, All Pigs Must Die, Black Breath, Mammoth Grinder, Masakari and more.

Sorry to all of Europeanals that we weren't able to see this fall. Health issues made touring not an option during this time.

Anyways, stay cold.

We made some year end lists, even though our album was released in March, so you know, all the journalists should've totally forgotten about us by now. At least, that's what we were told.

Fuck it. We run this bitch.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

08.02.11.... Dehydrate!!!

Hey, bro....sorry we haven't hung out in a while. You know how it is when you're busy snappin' necks and cashin' checks. We took that huge feeling of baller status and said "Fuck the Internet"....nahmean?
So, anyways, we're getting back in Big Ben for a new round of tour dates, smack dab in the middle of the chilliest month of the year. We'd better hurry up and make some hoodies!

The west coast mostly involves all things Power of the Riff. Off dates from those shows are at smaller venues with other bands on those fest dates. Basically, it's going to be fun and if you don't come out, someone will be tracking you down and repossessing your "I like good times" card that you forgot in the back of your ironic plastic TMNT wallet, you fucking dork.

Seriously, though....we haven't had a proper west coast run in about a year, and this one makes up for it big time. We're stoked and we hope you feel the same. See all you sweathogs soon.

Aug 09 @ Hole in the wall, Indianapolis, IN
Aug 10 @ Ravari Room, Columbus, OH
Aug 11 @ Majestic (Fucking Awesome Fest), Detroit, MI
Aug 13 @ Echo/Echoplex (Power Of The Riff), Los Angeles, CA
Aug 14 TBA
Aug 15 @ Elbo Room (Power Of The Riff), San Francisco, CA
Aug 16 @ 105 Pioneer St., Santa Cruz, CA
Aug 17 @ Branx, Portland, OR
Aug 20 @ The Highline (Power Of The Riff), Seattle, WA
Aug 21 @ Grange Hall, Boise, ID
Aug 22 Slc, UT venue TBA
Aug 23 @ Blast-O-Mat, Denver, CO
Aug 24 @ Eagles Lodge, Wichita, KS venue TBA
Aug 25 @ Cahoots, Louisville, KY

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

03.29.11.....Europe, we did this special for you

The color matches your eyes perfectly. We just saw it in a store and it said your name. No need for a thanks, really. The smile on your face is enough to make our day. Clear vinyl available only on our European tour that begins in a day or so. Limited to 100. Don't worry....if these sell out, we'll have more LPs available on the tour. Fret not, my damaged ones. And, just in case you missed them, here's the dates again. We're also playing Roadburn, but those of you going there probably knew that already. All dates with the fucking awesome lads in: Rotten Sound Trap Them Gaza The Kandidate Haust 01.04.11 Germany Karlsruhe @ Stadtmitte 02.04.11 Germany Köln @ Underground 03.04.11 Germany Rosswein @ Juha 04.04.11 Czech Rep Prague @ Exit Chmelnice 05.04.11 Slovakia Bratislava @ Randal 06.04.11 Germany München @ Feierwerk 07.04.11 Austria Salzburg @ Rockhouse 08.04.11 Italy Mezzago @ Bloom 09.04.11 Italy Rome @ Init 10.04.11 Switzerland Zürich @ Dynamo Werk21 11.04.11 France Paris @ Glazart 12.04.11 UK London @ Underworld 13.04.11 UK Plymouth @ White Rabbit 14.04.11 UK Colchester @ Arts Centre 15.04.11 Belgium Antwerpen @ Trix 16.04.11 Holland Venlo @ Perron55 17.04.11 Germany Hamburg @ Hafenklang 18.04.11 Denmark Lyngby @ Templet 19.04.11 Sweden Gothenburg @ Henriksberg 20.04.11 Oslo, Norway @ INFERNO Festival 21.04.11 Sweden Stockholm @ Debaser Slussen 22.04.11 Finland Turku @ Klubi 23.04.11 Finland Jyvaskyia @ Lutakko 24.04.11 Finland Helsinki @ Nosturi

03.29.11.....Three Cheers for the Comprehensive

Hello friends. Here's what we did in March: tour. It was kinda cool if you like playing to people that like your band or whatever. Fun was's the details!! :
03/06/11: Louisville, KY @ a house: A fair amount of individuals showed up for our kick off. It was what could be considered a 50% "hometown show". We played a long set so we could get used to playing some new songs that we hadn't executed in a live manner before. I got pushed into the drumset within the first thirty seconds and had a nice big gash. So much for safety. There were very high ceilings, so we witnessed a headwalk while we played, which is pretty awesome. Lineup: Trap Them, Prideswallower, Modern Hell and fuck, I forgot who else.
03/07/11: Buffalo, NY @ The Funeral Home: Mr. Andy Williams' "hometown show". Great house/space type show set up by the always wonderfful and dependable Andy Czuba. The room was pretty full, which means Buffalo has decided to keep liking us. Thanks, Buffalo!!! Bestower was awesome. We met up with Gaza for the first show of our two week adventure together. Anyways, it got really hot in there, even though it was like five degrees outside. Lineup: Trap Them, Gaza, Bestower, aaaaaand....fuck, I forgot again.
03/08/11: Toronto, Ontario, Canada @ Parts and Labour: On five days notice, this show drew over 200 kids. Pre-tay pre-tay cool. Somehow, we were able to make it over the border relatively easy. Thanks, border patrol!!! Bothe opening bands (Creeper and Kosmograd(sp?) were great. The chef upstairs made all the boys delicious and expensive meals for free, so he gets a huge vote of fantastic. We met some of the guys from Cancer Bats, who were extremely nice. We played a rather dangerous set. My eyebrow exploded and I had a bottle broken over my head, which left a very large gash. I don't think there are pictures from the show, which is probably good, because then our pasrents would see them and wonder what we're doing with our lives. Lineup: Trap Them, Creeper, Kosmograd
03/09/11: Allston, MA @ Great Scott's: This was the first day of our tour with The Red Chord and Gaza. Sold out show with many a familiar face. We (somehow) barely play the northeast, so it was great to finally have a show in Mass again. The_Network was great....including a DEADGUY cover! Gaza was extremely heavy and sounded great. After the show we headed to the infamous Mitch McArtor's house in Providence to eat pizza. Lineup: The Red Chord, Trap Them, Gaza, The_Network
03/10/11: Providence, RI @ Club Hell: Club Hell used to be a strip club, but now it's a tacky dance party venue, where the shows are super early so that all the distortion lovers can be shoved out and the trainwrecks can pay a cover to go in and dance to shitty music, drink a ton of obnoxious mixed drinks and try to match up dicks with vaginas. Again....don't remember the openers' names. I was on a hunt for coffee and Mike n' Ikes. The show was as good as it could have been at a place that many choose not to go to. After the show, we ate more pizza and got some sleep. I woke up the next morning and went to Julian's, which is an amazing restaurant where I ate something awesome that I can't remember. Lineup: The Red Chord, Trap Them, Gaza plus two more bands and one of them had a singer with really pretty hair. 03/11/11: S. Hackensack, NJ @ School of Rock: Jersey is fun to play now. Thanks Jersey!!! We loved playing the New Brunswick basement shows in the past. I'm hoping we get to sneak into one of those again. Great reaction for every band. A handful of kids got kicked out while we played, which is unfortunate. A dude blew out his knee during The Red Chord and it looked gross. The show was put on pause until the EMTs arrived. I think we stayed the night somewhere, but Hey, shockingly I don't remember. Lineup: The Red Chord, Trap Them, Gaza plus three more bands.
03/12/11: Baltimore, MD @ Sonar: Whole Foods....yeaaaah buddy. Asparagus salad. Mmmmm. The show went relatively well. Harvey Milk was the headliner, which was a fun addition to the night. There weren't a lot of kids there, but the ones who were had fun. After the show we stayed at a place where our gracious host made us a wonderful vegan meal. The next morning, Chris and I went running and I realized I'm very out of shape. After the run, we were welcomed back to the house by a breakfast of tofu scramble, pancakes and seitan bacon. Beautiful. Lineup: Harvey Milk, The Red Chord, Trap Them, Gaza
03/13/11: Springfield,. Va @ Jaxx: Another Whole Foods across the street. Thanks, Whole Foods!!! Jaxx is a pretty big place, so even though there was a decent amount of people there, it looked very ummmm...uninhabited. There's also this weird built-in barrier on the stage. Whatever. Stiull fun. A few opening bands played, including one that had some sort of Dragonforce type thing going on. Some friends came out, and we played a good set, so they didn't leave disappointed. We stayed at Nicole/Deathwish's place in Richmond, where Andy said something that made me have a fiteen minute laughing fit, which kept us all awake. I was laughing, crying, and apologizing all at once. Lineup: The Red Chord, Trap Them, Gaza and more.
03/14/11: Greensboro, NC @ Green St. Club: Another disco venue. The first band covered RATM. There was also some stupid light show while we played that somehow took forever to finally shut off. A few TT fans showed up, which we very much appreciate, because the rest of the crowd looked confused as fuck. I think we got a cheap ass hotel.
03/15/11: Johnson City, TN @ The Hideaway: Driving to Johnson City is a nightmare. It's like this assault of mountainous, twisty-turny highway roads. Well, we made it and everyone got to do what they wanted. There were mall visits, gym visits, etc. The show was a lot of fun and a large amount of people showed up, which was nice. Thanks, people!!! It was just the package as the lineup, so it was a quick show. After this, we went and ate at this all night diner type place that was really good. Then we got a cheap ass hotel.
03/16/11: Nashville, TN @ Exit In: Busy day. A few friends came, so there was hangout time for many. I turned into errand king and did an oil change, picked up more LPs, got the brakes fixed and a few more things. Also got busy at a Whole Foods. Ringworm (!) was added to the show, so it ended up being a great time. Lots of kids and lots of mosh-bringing. I kept having to piss, so I kept going in the trash can next to the merch table. We got done the set, loaded immediately out and started our ridiculously long drive to Austin, TX. Ouch. Lineup: The Red Chord, Trap Them, Gaza, Ringworm and one more.
03/17/11 - 03/19/11: Austin, TX @ many places. SXSW: I'm not going to dive into every show, so I'll summarize as best as I can. Showed up after a bazillion hour drive at around 4;15 and loaded right on stage and played the Brooklyn Vegan showcase. It was hot as fuck because Austin is hot as fuck. Met the Kvelertak dudes....awesome boys. Everyone went their own way for the night. I started my streak of eating at the same diner for three days and had pumpkin pancakes. Stayed at our friend Tyson's house for the duration of our time there. Played the Power of the Riff showcase with a ton of awesome bands, including Trash Talk, The Secret and All Pigs Must Die. Played a gargae show at 1am and got shut down by the cops after one song. Went to the Converse fort and got some sweet kicks. Played the Thrasher/Fader showcase, where we set up at the same time as All Pigs Must Die and traded songs back and forth. Here's a video: Said goodbye to the post-apocalyptic duststorm with no clouds and oven heat of Austin and headed to Little Rock for the last show.
03/20/11: Little Rock, AR @ Downtown Music Hall: Ghost city. Sunday afternoon with no existing life. Wandered aimlessly until the show began. It was also a ghost venue, where it seemed everyone was tired from morning mass, so they decided not to come out. Thanks, Little Rock!!! Besides this, everyone played a fun set. During The Red Chord, Chris dressed up in metallic gold wrestling pants and ran onstage to help Guy/TRC summon the crowd into a frenzy. He then proceeded to pull down his pants and show everyone his brownstar. They were stoked. After this, we all said our goodbyes and headed back to Louisville so we could all go home for a whopping nine days before we head to Europe, which is....tomorrow. Fuck. What am I doing wasting my time on the computer? Lineup: The Red Chord, Trap Them, Gaza plus two more.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

03.03.11......I can haz noizy tyme?!!!

As a recap for your listening (dis)pleasure:

Links provided to the various sights....just click on the song title. Internet convenience!

The Facts -

Slumcult & Gather - Decibel Magazine blog

Damage Prose -

Evictionaries -

Every Walk a Quarantine -

At some point next week, NPR (yup...NPR. Awesome.) will be providing an full stream of the entire Darker Handcraft album. Finally, something we can tell our parents about that they'd understand.

We're doing our best to use this blog well....anything anyone would like to see on here, feel free to let us know at:

More tour history will show up some time in the next few weeks when we get to a venue with six hours until the show starts, wherein I will escape to a quiet coffee shop for six hours of free refills and type away.

More news soon.